100+ Hilarious Only Fools and Horses Quotes 2026 That Fans Will Love

Only Fools and Horses Quotes

😂 “This time next year, we’ll be millionaires!”
Dreams bigger than reality
Hope louder than doubt
Del Boy never quits

🥸 “Lovely jubbly!”
Excitement in two words
Happiness sold wholesale
Joy with a bargain

😎 “You plonker!”
Insult wrapped in comedy
Rodney takes every fall
Love hides in mockery

🍻 “He who dares wins!”
Confidence before logic
Bravery before thought
Del lives on faith

🤷 “You know it makes sense”
Logic missing completely
Persuasion through nonsense
Charm beats reason

😅 “This is not a time for panic, this is a time for action!”
Chaos leads the mission
Plans made on the spot
Hope replaces strategy

🙄 “Mange tout, mange tout!”
French without meaning
Celebration in confusion
Del’s class act attempt

🧾 “I’ve got more money than sense”
Wealth measured in chaos
Logic long forgotten
Confidence forever intact

😏 “It’s only a flesh wound!”
Disaster played down casually
Pride over pain
Comedy cures everything

🍗 “Trigger, where did you get your turkey from?”
Logic not included
Questions meet brick walls
Laughter fills the gap

🛠 “This broom’s had 17 new heads and 14 new handles”
Trigger’s logic eternal
Same broom in theory
Madness with confidence

🥴 “Play it nice and cool, son”
Calm before catastrophe
Swag before stumble
Del’s golden advice

📺 “During the war…”
Grandad’s favourite intro
Story never quite ends
History reimagined daily

🤔 “You can’t turn a profit without investing”
Wisdom buried in madness
Business through guesswork
Del boy economics

😉 “Not just a pretty face, are ya?”
Compliment mixed with cheek
Confidence over modesty
Charm in every line

😇 “Everyone’s a nobody until somebody loves them”
Wisdom under the comedy
Heart beneath the hustle
Del’s soft side showing

🚗 “I think we just sold a car to the scrapyard for less than we paid for it”
Business gone backwards
Profit in negative
Still proud anyway

🍾 “We’re on our way to the top”
Del’s endless belief
Optimism never dies
Failure just a pause

🧠 “Why do only fools and horses work?”
Logic flipped upside down
Laziness sold as genius
Laughter makes it valid

🤣 “Cushty!”
Approval in one word
Satisfaction delivered quick
Del’s seal of success

best only fools and horses quotes

😂 “This time next year, we’ll be millionaires!”
Hope louder than logic
Dreams bigger than plans
Del Boy’s eternal promise

😎 “You plonker!”
Insult with affection
Rodney hears it daily
Brotherly love in disguise

🍻 “He who dares wins!”
Bravery before reasoning
Confidence over caution
Del’s life philosophy

🥸 “Lovely jubbly!”
Happiness in two words
Joy sold wholesale
Celebration on demand

🙄 “Mange tout, mange tout!”
French without purpose
Excitement without reason
Del’s signature flair

🧹 “This broom’s had 17 new heads and 14 new handles”
Trigger’s logic undefeated
Same broom in theory
Comedy in practice

😅 “Play it nice and cool, son”
Calm before disaster
Swagger before stumble
Del’s advice to Rodney

🤣 “Cushty!”
Approval delivered instantly
Satisfaction without effort
Classic Trotter stamp

😇 “Everyone’s a nobody until somebody loves them”
Wisdom beneath humour
Heart hiding in chaos
Del’s softer side showing

🧾 “I’ve got more money than sense”
Pride over practicality
Confidence unshaken
Del Boy forever bold

funny only fools and horses quotes

😂 “You plonker!”
Insult said with love
Rodney’s daily greeting
Brotherly banter at its best

🤣 “This time next year, we’ll be millionaires!”
Hope without evidence
Confidence without funds
Del lives on dreams

😎 “Lovely jubbly!”
Excitement in two words
Del’s universal approval
Happiness on tap

🙄 “Mange tout, mange tout!”
French lessons gone rogue
Celebration without context
Del goes international

🧹 “This broom’s had 17 new heads and 14 new handles”
Trigger’s logic unstoppable
Same broom in spirit
Comedy in maintenance

🍾 “Play it nice and cool, son”
Swagger before disaster
Calm before chaos
Del’s timeless advice

🤦 “I’ve got more money than sense”
Pride in foolishness
Confidence never questioned
Logic left the building

😅 “It’s only a flesh wound!”
Disaster shrugged away
Pain denied instantly
Comedy over caution

🧾 “We lost money on a deal that cost nothing!”
Business in reverse
Profit in negative
Still proud somehow

🍗 “Trigger, where did you get that turkey from?”
Questions meet confusion
Logic abandoned completely
Del tries to understand

🤷 “You can’t trust a man who wears a belt and braces”
Fashion criticised loudly
Trust based on trousers
Del’s strange wisdom

😉 “Not just a pretty face, are ya?”
Compliment with cheek
Flattery with sarcasm
Charm wrapped in laughter

🥴 “During the war…”
Grandad’s opening line
Story with no end
History rewritten daily

🤣 “Cushty!”
Seal of approval given
Satisfaction one word long
Del signs off proudly

🛠 “He fell through the bar!”
Legendary comedy moment
Timing beyond perfect
Still makes everyone laugh

famous only fools and horses quotes

😂 “This time next year, we’ll be millionaires!”
Hope fuels every plan
Dreams outweigh reality
Del never stops believing

😎 “Lovely jubbly!”
Happiness in a shout
Excitement without warning
Del’s official approval

🤦 “You plonker!”
Insult delivered lovingly
Rodney gets it daily
Family at its finest

🍾 “He who dares wins!”
Bravery before logic
Confidence before facts
Del’s life strategy

🙄 “Mange tout, mange tout!”
French without meaning
Celebration in confusion
Del’s classy moment

🧹 “This broom’s had 17 new heads and 14 new handles”
Trigger’s logic eternal
Same broom in spirit
Comedy masterpiece forever

🥳 “Play it nice and cool, son”
Swagger before disaster
Calm before chaos
Del’s golden advice

🤣 “Cushty!”
Approval in one word
Del seals the deal
Success declared instantly

🧾 “I’ve got more money than sense”
Pride stronger than shame
Confidence unshaken always
Logic left the room

😅 “It’s only a flesh wound!”
Disaster brushed aside
Pain ignored proudly
Comedy before safety

🍗 “Trigger, where’d you get that turkey?”
Confusion in every answer
Logic left the scene
Laughter fills the silence

🤷 “You can’t trust a man who wears a belt and braces”
Fashion-based wisdom
Judgment in trousers
Del’s rules of trust

😉 “Not just a pretty face, are ya?”
Mockery with charm
Sarcasm dressed as praise
Del’s flirting technique

🥴 “During the war…”
Grandad’s favourite opener
Story without direction
Everyone just listens

📺 “Why do only fools and horses work?”
Laziness sold as wisdom
Philosophy of the Trotters
Comedy meets truth

🚗 “We lost money on a deal that cost nothing!”
Business logic broken
Pride still intact
Failure called success

🛠 “He fell through the bar!”
Legendary stunt moment
Timing beyond perfect
Laughter never fades

🍾 “We’re on our way to the top!”
Hope louder than proof
Del leads with confidence
Reality follows slowly

🍻 “Get the beers in!”
Celebration before victory
Thirst before success
Pub solves everything

😇 “Everyone’s a nobody until somebody loves them”
Wisdom wrapped in humour
Soft side of Del
Truth hiding in jokes

🤝 “This is not a time for panic, this is a time for action!”
Chaos handled loudly
Strategy made on impulse
Del charges forward

🧠 “You know it makes sense”
persuasion without reason
Confidence becomes proof
Rodney just gives in

💼 “Quick, get the suitcase of money!”
Plan before thought
Excitement before logic
Chaos guaranteed

🐴 “Rodney, you look like a right wally!”
Fashion under attack
Brotherhood through insults
Comedy at full strength

🧊 “You’re a dipstick, Rodney!”
Creative name-calling
Affection through mockery
Only brothers understand

🤣 “This is crème de la menthe!”
Del’s idea of class
Luxury said wrong
Still sounds brilliant

🧥 “This coat is 100% genuine imitation leather”
Pride in fake fashion
Confidence better than truth
Del sells with style

😤 “I’ve had more comebacks than Rocky!”
Failure never final
Spirit always undefeated
Del stays swinging

📻 “Stick a pony on it!”
Gambling as logic
Money spent freely
Hope funds every risk

Marlene only fools and horses quotes

💄 “Boycie, you’ve got more front than Brighton Pier”
Smug swagger without sense
Ego bigger than your wallet
Still my favourite headache

😂 “Honestly Boycie, you’d argue with a brick wall”
Silence scares you more than logic
Debate your only hobby
Still lose every time

🙄 “You'd sell your own mother if the price was right”
Money first as always
Romance comes half price
Still expect a cuddle

😏 “You think you’re god’s gift, don’t you?”
Mirror nearly cracked
Charm expired years ago
Still acting irresistible

🍷 “Boycie, if brains were taxed, you’d get a rebate”
Intelligence on discount
Sarcasm my only weapon
Marriage my biggest test

💅 “I didn’t marry you for your looks, Boycie”
They were gone in the seventies
Wallet had better personality
Still waiting on the romance

🤣 “You flirt more than Del in a nightclub”
Compliments thrown like confetti
Eyes wandering like radar
Still home in time for dinner

🥱 “Listening to you is like reading a manual”
Takes hours to get nowhere
Confusion in every sentence
Still I stay awake somehow

🥂 “You’re tighter than your trousers, Boycie”
Wallet welded shut
Bills treated like enemies
Yet you buy a new cigar

👠 “I asked for passion, you bought me patio furniture”
Romance delivered flat-packed
Instructions missing entirely
Still waiting to assemble love

🎯 “Boycie, the dog shows more affection than you”
Tail wag beats handshake
Barking more heartfelt
Might swap you for Rover

📞 “If sarcasm burned calories, I’d be a model”
Marriage fuels my fitness
One insult at a time
Boycie my personal trainer

📺 “I live with a man who loves his car more than his wife”
Polishes it more than my feelings
Talks to it gently
Still expects a kiss from me

🧾 “Every time you say ‘trust me’, I hide my purse”
Confidence means chaos
Promises cost money
Experience taught me well

💘 “One day I’ll find the romantic side of you”
Probably buried under receipts
Covered in cigar ash
Still digging patiently

🕰 “You’re late for everything except dinner”
Food your only religion
Punctual when plates rattle
Chef gets more respect than me

🔥 “Boycie, your flirting is like your hairline”
Barely hanging on
Needs serious support
No future left in it

🎭 “You act posh but trip over your own ego”
Accent thicker than common sense
Swagger out of stock
Marlene still unimpressed

🪙 “You’d auction off our wedding rings if the price was right”
Sentiment never beats profit
Love negotiable in pounds
Still calling it devotion

🌹 “Just once I’d like flowers without a receipt attached”
Romance shouldn’t be refundable
Petals shouldn’t come with tax
Try mystery instead of math